Top Ten Mistakes Men Make with Women… And How To Avoid Them

1. Showing too much sexual interest (Starting in Seduction): “The Creepy Guy”

A lot of guys show sexual interest in a woman before they attract and qualify her. They make it obvious they’re only interested in getting sex, without any regard to her as a person. It’s like they say: “You don’t know me, wanna have sex?” Rather than be a getter, why not be a giver? Bring her some joy, build some comfort and trust. That way, you won't have to get sex from her. She'll WANT it from you.

2. Being too Nice (Starting in Comfort): “The Nice Guy”

On the opposite end, other men start by building comfort. They’ll say things like: “So, where are you from? Can I buy you a drink?” It's factual and generic. Instead, make her FEEL something. It's funny because “The Nice Guy” technique ALSO telegraphs sexual interest. By buying her drinks, giving lots of compliments really he's expecting something from a girl (read: sex) in return.  So, instead of starting off in comfort with a girl, be a sexual threat. Create sexual tension. THEN you can move into comfort and get to know her.

3. Not qualifying or listening (Attracting but No Comfort): “The Player”

There are also the guys who don't start in seduction and don't start in comfort but DO start in attraction. Only problem is they skip comfort and rush into sex. When he does that he becomes a player. And a girl might feel Buyer's Remorse. So, avoid making out with her in public. Save making out for PRIVATE. Focus on building comfort instead. A great way to do this is to spend between 4-10 hours with her (7 hours on average). By not pouncing on her, you'll make her want to pounce on you.

4. Not Touching Her (Attracting but Stuck in Comfort): “The Friend Zone”

There's also the guy who starts in attraction but gets stuck in comfort. He gets stuck in the friend zone. This usually happens when he doesn’t kino. But kino eliminates the friend zone.

5. Not creating sexual tension

Balance Indicators of Interest with Indicators of Disinterest. Examples of disinterest: walk away, a neg. Examples of interest: a smile, a touch, a compliment, a question. Too much disinterest and you push her away entirely. Too much interest and she'll want to run. The key is to balance both. THAT'S game. This push-pull creates tasty sexual tension.

6. Trying Too Hard

Some examples of trying too hard: showing off, bragging, asking a million questions, buying her stuff, trying to make her laugh constantly, investing all energies in one girl. The best pickup artists not only hunt, they farm. Go after one girl, get nothing. Go after 10 girls; get 7 awesome pivots and 3 lays (the best of the bunch, of course). You can only choose from the women who choose you. That means if you want to have choice, you have to be the man who talks to a lot of women. How can a girl chase us if we plant our feet in front of her and never move? Lie back and roll off. You’re the prize. Let the woman chase you. Jealousy plotlines can be an integral way to make the most beautiful women chase you.

7. Not Being Prepared

Whip out a cheat sheet and fill it with negs, kino, DHVs, and qualifiers. You’ll need enough material to engage a woman for 25 to 40 minutes, though ultimately you’ll need to fill 7 hours. And don't over-attract. Make her do some work, too. That's the beauty of qualification. Being prepared also means getting into the right state: playful, positive, talkative. Also, know where you'll bounce girls. And be groomed, clean, have condoms, and gum. Practice in the mirror before going out if you have to. It'll give you self-awareness. Then when you meet a woman of particular beauty, forget everything and be in the moment. Ironically, preparation makes flow possible.

8. Too Logical and Factual

Keep things emotional, not factual and intellectual. That means smiling and being expressive. Playing. Talking about emotional subjects and things that light you up. Passion and enthusiasm are aphrodisiacs. She’ll be swept up in those good feelings and won’t want to leave them. Make women FEEL wonderful, and she’ll link those wonderful feelings with you.

9. Demonstrating Lower Value

Demonstrating Lower Value is dissing yourself. Man, it kills attraction. And self-deprecating humor only works when everyone is aware of your strengths. When we self-deprecate without people knowing our strengths, it’s not funny. Think well of yourself and speak well of yourself. Like a self-fulfilling prophecy, you'll BECOME a man of Higher Value.

10. Fearing What She Thinks of You

Social freedom is not giving a rat's ass what girls or other people think about you. If there's one thing all the great pickup artists have in common it's social freedom. Women can be sunshine in our lives, beautiful and inspiring, but true freedom comes NOT from getting her or from clinging to her. It comes from giving our deepest gifts to the world. The byproduct, not the goal, is we become a more excellent man that naturally attracts the highest quality women.

by Renaissan

4 Responses

  1. Just came out of 8 month relationship and this article really helped me put things in perspective. Although, must admit to not liking all there is now to learn about getting a new caring partner! So just wanted to say thanks as know it's a tough ride ahead, but you have more than enough here to get me started again. R.
    • Renaissan
      Hey Richard, thanks for the comment. Good news is, being in between relationships is prime self-reflection time. I feel like I've grown as a person the most during these times. You came to the right place. This stuff can be a life-changer. Here are a few great books to start off with: The Game, by Neil Strauss (what's possible when you learn game) Mystery Method, by Mystery (primer on the game) Way of the Superior Man by David Deida (inner-game stuff) Double Your Dating, by David DeAngelo (primer on how to attract women) Thanks again for your comments. By the way, how did you learn about this site and the Mystery Method?
  2. Nice Work Renaissan! with 1000s of trained guys under my belt, seems that Point #7 is key - Many men don't even realise they have ALREADY created Attraction (sometimes even before he speaks to the Women), just based on how others are 'reacting' to him in the room. So occasionally TEST THIS.... go straight to Qualification (Bait her to impress you / make some effort to win YOU over) as opposed to YOU making all the effort. Try something like: "So is there more to you than meets the eye?" "Beyond Beauty, what do You like about being you?" "You seem like the Go Getter Intense type, what do you do to relax?" much love, Discovery
    • Agreed! And love the qualifiers you gave. Fresh spins on classics. Excited to try out the last two. Thanks for the comment.

Leave a comment

You must be Logged in to post a comment.