One of my girlfriends recently bumped into her ex and she reminded me of the exact moment she lost all attraction for him. He is a good looking entrepreneur with a vibrant social circle, and she is beautiful, educated and bubbly - they met through work. After months of flirting back-and-forth, and some very deliberate IOIs from her, he finally decides to ask her out on a date. Fast forward, they date for a couple of months during which he slowly but surely starts to submit and lets her have full control - her choice of dates, timings, activities, pace, social circle. Any of her challenges for him to show initiative are met with “You decide, babe”.🤷🏻♂️
She had asked me for advice as their sex life had inevitably begun to suffer. The fact was he had completely handed her the keys to their relationship vehicle and was feeling comfortable in the passenger seat. Even though he was a genuinely good guy with great intentions, he thought the way to express his admiration was to completely give up any sense of leadership and alpha male qualities. She had unintentionally become the leader of the relationship - a position most women do not want to be in.
The moment it all went downhill was when he casually admitted to her that if it weren’t for her initiating their introduction (he didn’t realise she had treated him with the same respect she had treated her other colleagues upon meeting them for the first time) he would have NEVER approached her because he was intimidated by her looks. Within a week, she had no desire left to sleep with him and within two - they had split ways.
Women are programmed to look for an Alpha male who will lead them to a better life, who will stick around and will one day protect the family. The guy in this story gave up everything that is perceived attractive to women with the hope to keep a woman of Value around, one who had fallen into his life by sheer luck. And, as expected, he lost her in the process. There was no benefit for her to stick around a man who had no sense of direction, and even worse - desire to lead the relationship to a better place.
He was so overwhelmed by her attractiveness and appeal to other men, that he forgot the basics of how to keep attraction alive.
Once your lifestyle improves, you will get a chance to experience high Value women - I wouldn’t want you to lose them because you don’t know how to maintain consistent attraction. And above all, I wouldn’t want you to miss out on amazing experiences due to fear of getting rejected.
“How many women will you get to meet, will you get to date, will you have beautiful relationships with, will be someone special in your life and maybe even the mother of your children… that you did not approach?”Shaun Michael (Discovery)