Why some guys can Flirt AND have Fun.
And Why Not You?
They make the women around them smile, laugh or CRACK UP even! They light up their surroundings and create a social bond fire that attracts other women around them to come and stand in their proximity. And even the ones that are standing a bit further away are constantly looking into the direction of those who are having fun, all because of this fun and social guy!
When looking at such a social bonfire going on, the contrast between the rest of the social environment becomes even clearer, as most guys actually struggle to simply have fun!
They go out, attracted to the possibility of having a good time and experience positive emotions, but then have no idea how to get a bonfire going.
These are the guys you see standing around with their backs turned towards their friends, looking for stimulus elsewhere! They go out with the best of intentions, to have fun with their friends but can't seem to spark and start a fire.
This could be because of several reasons, like having had a shitty day or simply because of a person's character. The reasons why someone doesn't spark the fire isn't important for this article, but what YOU can do to BECOME that person who is able to build a social bonfire among your friends, is!
One of the advantages of a Social Butterfly is that they are GREAT at FLIRTING with women!
Some guys seem to have this naturally, they flirt with everyone, always and anywhere...well, good for them! 😉
What are the advantages of being flirtatious?
Well, guys who are good at flirting have the ability to align and connect with women FASTER!
Because flirting is not only a fun way to socially probe and find areas of connection with the women around you, but also to set a sexual undertone to the interaction with you, or playfully dismiss a women in a socially accepted, push-pull kind of way.
However, when you look on the internet for information or tips about flirting, you'll notice that you are bombarded with information that's either for women, or tells you as a man how to:
- Just make eye contact
- Dress in a reveling way (WTF Really?! I guess I'll better start wearing my crotch-less leather S&M party pants again!)
- Just start bantering
- Give her compliments
- Just simply have a sense of humor
- Make her feel special (This one made me laugh!)
- Just have alfa male confidence
Basically most, if not all tips provided describe the entire courtship process from beginning to the end so they completely go against practicing good and solid game, as we teach at 3 Second Rule.
Add to that the fact that, they don't really tell you what to do in a practical and usable way...so in my opinion most tips you'll findare pretty useless!
Even though some will help you in certain areas of your game, I'd rather give you something you can implement straight away!
When you look at our *OSCA Component, which Shaun Micheal (Discovery) very intelligently layered onto the 1st phase of Mystery's M3 Model, flirting fits GREAT in the S, C, and A steps of *OSCA.
*OSCA stands for: Open - Stimulate - Captivate - Attract
Flirting in my opinion is not simply a description of the entire courtship process, but it's a vehicle you use to accomplish certain goals. And those goals are best achieved in the S, C, and A steps of OSCA. So what are those goals?
- To show you are socially savvy
- To buy you more time in set
- To show your personality in a playful way
- To create a sexual undertone, or in other words, to communicate that you are a guy that get's laid and is comfortable talking about sex
- To interact with and lightly qualify your target in a fun way
And, to start a social BONFIRE that people will feel attracted to!
Very importantly though, not just a social bond fire within the set you have opened, but also one that lights up the rest of the room! Because remember, the first set you open is NOT your objective! It's that SUPER HOT girl sitting in the VIP area which you don't have access to! And you want to attract her attention and show her that the party is where YOU are...and not in between the boring pokerface guys in the VIP section. 😉
So I'm going to help YOU improve your "Flirting Skills" in exactly 7 steps, so you too can create a social bonfire, and attract the hottie who's watching your every move from within the VIP section!
Sounds good? Alright, let's start!
Step 1 - Implement an outgoing and fun mindset!
Going out with your friends should be fun! And so should flirting! So leave your bagage at home, no need to take that with you to a social environment. Keep in mind, tonight is going to be all about fun, hilarious laughter, joking around and flirting with people in a FUN way! We're going to have a lot of fun and I'm going to be the initiator! WOOOHOOO!!!
To get into a fun and flirtatious state you have to "get out of your head" and GET IN A FUN AND FLIRTATIOUS STATE!
How can you accomplish this? Easy! Before going out, watch some ridiculously funny stand up comedy, a hilarious comedy movie or a very funny TV show that makes you dying of laughter! Just to name a couple of examples, I'm sure these will put you in a great mood!
Step 2 - Take anything she says, use it against her and make it sound as if SHE meant something sexual with it!
Flirting is a fun and accepted way to create sexual tension in any interaction. So you will want to use at least a couple of opportunities to ensure that the girls around you understand that you are a sexual being.
As you are in an outgoing and fun state of mind, the following will be very easy! Simply take anything a girl says to you, then repeat it and add some extra "sexy sauce" to it! Then make it sound as if she's being naughty or sexual with YOU!
HER: I like strawberrys!
YOU: Hmmmm, I bet you DO young lady! And I BET you like...whipped...cream with that too huh!😉
YOU: You smell a bit...hmmmm...did you eat Indian food? 😀
HER: NO! I just took a shower!
YOU: Oh I'm sure you did! And judging by that naughty look you're giving me...I'm sure you had a very...exotic...time taking that shower huh, do you Pole Dance? 😉
Obviously...what I just said makes absolutely NO sense at all...and this always makes them go "Wait! What?!" after which they start laughing as you are obviously just joking around!
(After example 2 stack forward with the 93% of women masturbate in the shower routine!)
So personally I'll work with anything she gives me, whether it's eye contact, something she says, something she's wearing and showing me, a song she likes or even the food she had to eat earlier...I'll turn it into something funny, naughty, slightly sexual and throw it back at her in an absurd way...with a big SMILE!
Step 3 - Childishness and Absurdity are accepted when flirting!
One of my flirting philosophies is "Anything goes when flirting!" And childishness and absurdity are FUNNY when thrown out there with a smile as if you don't care!
I like to use the absurdity I see or hear in movies as material to flirt with a girl as well!
Like, by now EVERYONE has heard about Donald Trump and his infamous quote in which he goes "grab 'em by the p*ssy!".
So right now actually I use his quote to create a fun vibe with a sexual tension in my interactions.
How? Well, I'll wait for the moment a girl gives me a funny look because of something I said, and this could be anything really, and then I say:
ME - Whoa! You look as if you just have been Donald Trumped by someone!
HER - What do you mean?
ME - You know exactly what I mean young girl! You know how Trump likes to "GRAB 'EM BY THE P*SSYYYY!!!" HAHA!
When delivered with a FUN and a slightly crazy or "freaky naughty energy" she and her friend group will burst out in laughter! And as you can see, you are setting a slightly sexual tone to your interaction, which will also help you when escalating the interaction further.
Step 4 - Delivery!
As said earlier, if you deliver your flirtatious comments and gambits with a fun and naughty attitude, it WILL hit and come off as FUNNY AS F*CK!
What to keep in mind when delivering flirtatious comments?
- Say it with a huge or silly smile on your face!
- Be over the top and express yourself in a funny yet ridiculous way!
- Be animated and expressive!
- Be LOUD when saying the punch-line!
- It's about self amusement here! So when you have fun with what your saying, they'll accept your fun frame and they too will think you are funny and laugh at whatever you throw at them!
So, keep in mind! If you put into practice the points I just mentioned, you WILL get GREAT results!
Step 5 - Release of tension is KEY!
Flirting is funny and you can easily use it to build a sexual tension, BUT it will only feel comfortable for the girl you flirt with, or her group of friends, if you balance your flirtatious outings with a "release".
This can be accomplished by a Roll Off at the moment of the punch line for an example.
So, throw your comment out there and don't wait for the response.
This will make you seem less invested in the outcome, which is high value male behavior, and this way you wont show interest in your target which keeps her from putting up her shield.
Make sure not to keep eye contact too long as this could kill the vibe, as saying something with a sexual tone while keeping eye contact comes off as CREEPY instead of FUNNY! It shows sexual interest and this is NOT (yet) the objective here.
Be mindful of this, because this is a HUGE mistake men make when flirting, which kills their game and keeps them from accomplishing the desired outcome of being perceived as a fun, flirtatious creator of a social bonfire!
So, again keep in mind, it's about creating a social bonfire that warms the room, and attracts people your way! So throw your comments, lines or gambits onto the fire you're starting...RELEASE...and let it burn!
Step 6 - You need to practice being flirtatious...and practice a LOT to be GOOD at it!
Like with every skill, you'll need to practice to become better at it. And it's no different with flirting!
Flirting is a skill, and being able to flirt is a good skill to have.
Now, if you want to light up a room with a bond fire, you'll need to have GOOD flirting skills and the faster you are, the sharper you come off and the more fun they will have with you!
Keep in mind that when practicing these skills you:
- Smile BIG!
- Are animated!
- SLOW DOWN YOUR PACE WHEN SPEAKING!
- Release and Roll Off!
So have FUN and light up the room with your own Social Bonfire!
And keep in mind, if I can help you improve in any way and you'd like some feedback, make sure to contact me.
Find me on Facebook or simply ask your questions in our 3SR Support Group!
Now suit up and go out there brother to spread some fun!
With Pride and Passion,